


Not Meant To Happen

by Annie17851



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Implied Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Time Travel, promising ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7725592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie17851/pseuds/Annie17851
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time stamp in End!Verse; 2009!Dean hears a conversation he needs to prevent from ever happening.  Done for a challenge; my prompt:  "I don't know who is more messed up, me or you. What I do know is I can't live like this anymore."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Meant To Happen

Not Meant To Happen

 

Dean Winchester (version 2009) knew very well he wasn’t supposed to be creeping around the camp. His future self (the douche), had demanded he stay inside, while OlderDean went to round up his lieutenants for a meeting. Some big-something was going down tonight, apparently.

He caught the sound of raised voices and looked around for the source.

Castiel’s cabin, and from the way Chuck was scurrying away from there, clipboard in hand, the argument was probably a doozy.

Dean’s head was already spinning, what with all the future shock- older, cold-hearted him, Sam gone, Bobby gone, most of the world gone, actually, or so his older self said.

But- human Cas- a stoned and wanton Cas – was eating some kind of painful hole into Dean’s heart, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

Dean wandered over nonchalantly until he was near one of the open windows of Castiel’s big cabin. (Dean had wondered, more than once, why Castiel had this big space to himself in this camp of embattled refugees.)

OlderDean was bitching up a storm.

“And could you pick something up off the floor once in a while, ya know, in between getting high and doing – whatever or whoever else you’re doing?”

“I’m neither your wife nor your lackey,” Cas replied calmly. “Not even your – whatever you classified me – before you decided to sleep everywhere but here.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re missing me any,” Dean retorted, stomping loudly across the floor, nearing the window. PastDean scooted around the corner of the cabin till he thought he heard OtherDean moving farther back into the room again.

“You only come here for hate sex,” Cas informed him.

Outside, Dean’s brow furrowed. Wait. What? Sex?

“You hate the world,” Cas went on. “You hate Lucifer. You hate what Sam did. And a lot of days you hate me, too, because I lost my wings. Mostly, you hate yourself, for not saying ‘yes’.”

A glass shattered against a wall, making eavesdropping-Dean wince as his older self followed the sound with a dangerously calm “Stop talking, Castiel.”

“But it is true, right? I’m barely any use to you….”

“Because you’ve lost it, Cas! Because you’re weak and I need strong! You’re high when I need sober! Yes, you’re human now, like the rest of us. But, I’ve seen you human before and you were – just better. I need you to be Castiel. Mojo or not.”

Silence for a minute, and PastDean prepared to run back to the other cabin if he heard the door open. 

“No,” Cas refuted. “You need to be Dean Winchester. My Dean Winchester. Not this Dean who stomps around hating everything that breathes, including yourself. You have changed so much, I barely know who you are anymore!”

“Pot. Kettle. You understand that reference, right Cas,” Dean sneered. “So, you‘re crazy and I’m out of my mind. I’m not doing this anymore.” Dean declared decisively. "I need Castiel back. My Castiel. Can’t you just be that Cas? The Cas that’s gotten lost?”

“I lost everything for you,” Cas reminded him, surprisingly gently.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Dean shot back at him sharply. “Don’t you think it kills me every damn day?”

Sound of a glass being set down on a table then.

“Come to the meeting,” Dean instructed the ex-angel. “You need to hear the plan.”

“Another suicide mission?” Cas asked resignedly.

“More’n likely.”

“Don’t go without me. I’ll burn with you.”

“I was a good man once,’ Dean mused. “I want things to be the way they were, Cas, but…”

“I know, Dean. There’s no time now. Maybe later.”

OtherDean took a few steps toward the door, but Cas stopped him. 

“I love you, you know. I try not to, but I can’t stop.”

“It’s the only thing keeping me alive anymore,” Dean muttered, opening the door.

PastDean took off running then, back to OtherDean’s cabin, where the meeting would start in a few minutes, emptiness gnawing at that little spot in his heart. 

They can’t live like this. This wall between Castiel and himself shouldn’t happen. Couldn’t. He’d find a way to stop it. Once Zachariah popped him back where he belonged, he’d have the time. He could fix this.


End file.
